Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys has become an arduous task. Even mentioning the Cowboys and postseason success in the same sentence is oxymoronic in the 21st century. Mississippi weatherman and weekend anchor Ethan Bird knocked one out of the park when he inserted a Cowboys joke into his 10-day forecast.
Even Cowboys fans have had to LOL at that quip. Bird wasn’t lying. He even points at Thursday’s temperature (96), which corresponds to the last time Dallas won a Super Bowl. Mr. Bird delivered the line as smoothly as a Larry Bird jump shot. Nothing but net.
Unfortunately, the truth in that joke is what hits hard for Cowboys fans. Although they’re still the most valuable team in the NFL, they’ve also become the longest-running punch line in the league. It’s a truth Dallas can’t seem to escape no matter what they do.
Since Dallas’ last appearance in the sport’s biggest game in Jan ‘96, 21 other organizations have played in at least one Super Bowl. The Cincinnati Bengals recently returned to the big game for the first time since ‘89. This should be embarrassing for Jerry Jones, but he’s still making big bucks off “America’s team” regardless.
During the Jason Garrett era in Dallas, it felt like they went 8-8 every stinking season. Sure, there was a 12-win and then a 13-win season mixed in there for Garrett. But in Garrett’s first three full seasons as head coach of the Cowboys, the team finished 8-8 all three years. He even finished his final campaign in 2019 with a record of 8-8.
The Cowboys have had six head coaches since Barry Switzer left following the ‘97 season. Legendary coach Bill Parcells couldn’t even get this franchise out of the wildcard round during his four years in Dallas. Maybe it’s the curse of Jimmy Johnson that has held the Cowboys back for so long.
Johnson was unceremoniously fired on the heels of back-to-back Super Bowl victories in ‘92 & ‘93. Switzer came in and won Jones one more title with Jimmy’s roster, and since then, it’s been a dry well for the Cowboys where championships are concerned. Since Dallas ‘ last appearance, all but two NFC teams have played in at least one NFC championship game. The Detroit Lions and Washington Commanders are the only other NFC teams that have not made it past the divisional round since ‘96.
Still, every year like clockwork, some talking head picks Dallas to go all the way and regrets it by November. It’s remarkable how successful Jones has been at building the Cowboys brand over the last 25 years with very little to show for it on the field. Talk about handling your business; Jerry’s done that 10x over. It just hasn’t translated to on-field success, and that’s when you start getting jabs launched your way like with Ethan Bird.
Break-out linebacker and Rookie of the Year Micah Parsons found this out firsthand when he felt he’d fare better in an NBA Finals game than an actual NBA player. It’s one thing to say that in jest but then to post it to Twitter is another. At that point, you’re just asking for it.
Parsons was taken to task simply because he plays for the Cowboys, and rightfully so. Yes, he’s only one year into what should be a long successful NFL career, but he plays for a franchise that should probably be banned from saying the word championship at this point. And that’s really the point when it comes to the Cowboys now. They’ve become nothing more than America’s joke.