Rudy Giuliani Knows How Many Fingers You Were Holding Up On Election Night, DO YOU?

Know what we have very little interest in? Engaging with Rudy Giuliani vomit-whining all over the internet that he WAS NOT EITHER drunk on election night, that he was just hopped up on Diet Pepsi, and that he just cannot figure out why Trump morons Jason Miller and Bill Stepien would tell the House January 6 Select Committee that. Were they paid to claim Rudy Giuliani — yes, Rudy Giuliani — was drunk?

DRUNK? Rudy Giuliani Not Drunk YOU ARE DRUNK

The good news is that Giuliani has now deleted the tweets.

If somehow you missed them, here is the text, now removed:

I am disgusted and outraged at the out right lie by Jason Miller and Bill Steppien. I was upset that they were not prepared for the massive cheating (as well as other lawyers around the President) I REFUSED all alcohol that evening. My favorite drink..Diet Pepsi— Rudy W. Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) June 14, 2022

And then he actually asked, “Is the false testimony from Miller and Steppien [sic] because I yelled at them? Are they being paid to lie?” We know what you’re thinking: Wow, Rudy tweeted these at what time in the morning?

As the Daily Beast reports, other very honest people like Bernie Kerik and Trump sycophant idiot Boris Epshteyn came running, to regale us with stories of Rudy Giuliani’s sobriety, yes that Rudy Giuliani:

Former NYPD commissioner Bernard Kerik ripped into Miller while stating Giuliani “was not drinking at all.” The longtime Trumpworld acolyte added while appearing on Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast: “I don’t know why he [Miller] made this statement.” Bannon, a longtime pal of Miller’s, insisted that Giuliani “has too much respect for the White House and office of the presidency ever” be intoxicated like that. Likewise, ex-Trump aide Boris Epshteyn claimed that Giuliani was “sober” that night.

DRUNK?? Judy Riuliani Is Not As Think As You Drunk He Is (Allegedly! BURRRRRRP!)

Hahaha, we are trying to imagine Rudy Giuliani — yes that Rudy Giuliani — having too much respect for the office of the presidency — yes the office his buddy Donald Trump continually smeared with shit for four solid years — to be drunk at the White House.

??? Good Morning, Here’s Rudy Giuliani Playing With Zoom Filters And Trying To Talk British Again

We are also LOL-ing at the fact that Jason Miller — as that says above, a “longtime pal” of Steve Bannon’s — is now the target of THE WRATHS. So put this on top of THE WRATHS that Bill Barr is experiencing from Bannon and company, for among other things making fun of Dinesh D’Souza’s dogshit movie.

Not Drunk: Steve Bannon (Sob!) Not Gonna Let (Sob!) Bill Barr (Sob!) Bully Dinesh D’Souza (Sob!) Like That! (Sob!)

Anyway, like we said, Rudy deleted the tweets. Don’t know why, maybe the entire world laughing at him and calling him a drunk had something to do with it. The Daily Beast’s Zachary Petrizzo reports that Rudy blocked very many people who made fun of him.

He’s still mad, though:

Oh he mad:

And he retweeted this video of a tiger. Probably completely unrelated:

Of course, Rudy being reportedly drunk on election night is just one of billions of pieces of the evidence the committee has. But a lot of people seem to be forgetting that reports of Trump listening to drunkass Rudy about prematurely ejaculating a victory speech instead of listening to allegedly cooler heads are not new. It was in Carol Leonnig’s and Philip Rucker’s book I Alone Can Fix It, and we were talking about it way back a year ago:

A drunken Rudy Giuliani repeatedly urged Donald Trump to “just say we won” on election night last November, according to a new book, even as key states started to slip away from the president and defeat by Joe Biden drew near. […]

“What’s happening in Michigan?” he asked.

The campaign manager, Bill Stepien, chief of staff, Mark Meadows, and senior adviser Jason Miller told him it was too early to know.

“Just say we won,” Giuliani said.

The aides said it was the same in Pennsylvania.

“Just say we won,” Giuliani said.

“Giuliani’s grand plan,” the authors report, “was to just say Trump won, state after state, based on nothing. Stepien, Miller and Meadows thought his argument was both incoherent and irresponsible.”

Meadows reportedly responded, angrily: “We can’t do that. We can’t.”

But Trump did. […]

“Just go declare victory right now,” Giuliani reportedly told a furious Trump. “You’ve got to go declare victory now.”
At 2am, Trump walked into the East Room.

“This is a fraud on the American public,” he said. “This is an embarrassment to our country. We were getting ready to win this election. Frankly, we did win this election. We did win this election.”

Right. We all remember.

But sure, Rudy, delete your tweets or whatever. That way nobody will ever think you were drunk.

Anything else, Rudy?

You betcha.


[Daily Beast]

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