Well well well, time for your Monday newsletter, let’s see what Wonkette talked about!
As usual, we had morning tabs:
8 Sunny Places To Escape To This Month! Tabs, Mon., Feb. 5, 2024
And the talk of the day was the immigration bill James Lankford and the Senate released, which House Republicans immediately decided they hated, because they don’t actually want to fix the border, they just want to yell at Joe Biden about it.
James Lankford Stunned GOP Doesn’t Actually Want Immigration Fixed HA HA HA Oh Mercy
Dean Phillips? Fuck that guy.
Dean Phillips Comes THIS Close To Winning Participation Trophy In South Carolina Primary
JD Vance? Fuck that guy.
Olivia Rodrigo? Fuck that guy. OH NO WAIT! We like her! She did the devil summoning at the Grammys this year!
How Did We Worship Our Lord Satan At The Grammys This year?
Ronna McRomney? Under the bus you go! Sincerely, Donald Trump.
Trump Gives RNC Chair Unwanted Kiss Of Death, Probably Won’t Get Sued For This One
Some poll porn.
Polls Still Saying Trump’s Up A Creek If He’s Convicted Of Crimes
Some Greg Gutfeld COMEDY porn, ewwwww.
Here’s Greg Gutfeld Saying Rhymes For Two Solid Minutes, For Comedy
And finally if you’re keeping up with THE SPLIT, the serial novel that comes out every Monday on Wonkette, then it’s Monday!
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Fourteen
And that’s all, goodbye!