There’s a bizarre right-wing conspiracy that’s existed in slightly different forms for a while now, that Michelle Obama is secretly being prepared to be the new dictator of America. It’s so weird because they 100 percent made it up, and any “evidence” of it is just a memory of a different time when they remember some right-wingers shoveling the imaginary story into each other’s rectal caverns.
We guess it’s on their minds right now because A) Joe Biden is old, and B) last month, Obama said she’s “terrified” of what might happen in the 2024 election. So are we, but nobody should take that as a campaign announcement.
As with all things with white right-wingers, it’s about fear. They’re terrified of Michelle Obama, and they always have been, because she’s powerful, she’s cool, and people adore her. Obama has said a million times she has zero interest in politics, but they’re so panty-pissing scared of her and they’re so disconnected from reality that a part of them hears that and thinks, “She WOULD say she’s not interested in politics, wouldn’t she?”
It’s a disease. And Fox News is a super-spreader of it.
Some dipshit wrote in the New York Post last month that Obama might “sneak her way” into the 2024 presidential race, and Fox News wrote a !!!!! article about it and broadcasted about it, like the New York Post isn’t just their boss Rupert’s other testicle. A week earlier, Fox idiot Kennedy was advancing the conspiracy theory like it was news. Fox news idiot Rachel Campos-Duffy likes to blab it out. Etc. There are a million examples.
It is so stupid, but this is how they keep the old caucasian racists in the hinterlands angry and scared. Michelle Obama AIYIYEYEEEEEEEEEEEE SHE’S A-COMIN’ TO GIT YEW, PAW!
God, we fucking hate these people.
So does Karl Rove, apparently, because when British Fox dipshit Stuart Varney asked him about it today on Fox Business — motto: “The channel where they talk about business, like, so much” — Rove appeared to have approximately as much contempt for the conspiracy theory and those who spread it as we do:
STUART VARNEY: Can you deal with this quickly — I keep hearing that Michelle Obama will be shifted into the — no, you’re shaking your head. It’s not going to happen?
No he doesn’t. He doesn’t “keep hearing” this from real people. He hears it from people on Fox News, who hear it from people on the Fox News website, who hear it from people in the New York Post, who hear it from Fox News, which hears it from …
We love how Stuart Varney was like “No?” like he was trying to give the impression he was genuinely surprised Karl Rove hadn’t heard this totally legitimate thing.
KARL ROVE: No, look, look. She hates politics. Read her autobiography. She didn’t want her husband to run for the state Senate. She didn’t want him to run for the president. She is not a political animal. And besides, look, Barack Obama was my charge at the White House. I dealt with him for three years. He’s a smart guy. He would know that if Michelle Obama woke up tomorrow and said, “You know what, I’ve decided that after a life of hating politics, I want to be the vice presidential running mate or run for president,” people would say, “You know what, that’s Barack trying to get a third term as president,” and they wouldn’t go for it. But the starting point is she hates politics. This is a weird obsession of the conspiratorial Right, and it’s just lunacy — pure lunacy.
Karl Rove, voice of reason, everyone.
ROVE: I had to deal with this in 2020 when this was running through the President Trump’s reelection campaign. They thought somehow or another, Biden was going to be pushed aside by Obama. Andrew Cuomo was going to be the Democratic candidate, and his running mate was going to be Michelle Obama. And I told the Trump people, including the president himself, this is sheer, utter lunacy, starting with the fact she hates politics, period. She loves the life she’s got.
Lunacy? Trump people? Trump himself? Huh.
At the end, Stuart Varney did that chucklefuck Fox News thing where, instead of being decent and saying “I am sorry, I am a useless bag of dogshit and I will do the world a favor and never speak aloud again,” he just was like YUK YUK YUK! GUESS WE KNOW WHERE KARL ROVE STANDS ON THIS HOT BUTTON ISSUE!
Look at the fucking chyron.
Tonight, MAGA dads and grandpas and grandmas and uncles will talk at dinnertime about that bitch Michelle Obama secretly gonna run for president, and some of them will be real racist about it.
This is where they got it.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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